if we're not married by 30... 35... lets get married

Ever had a friend that you made a pack to get married to, if you were not married by a certain age?? Well I have passed two of those dead lines and had dinner with him tonite. The only difference is, he doesn't feel the same.
Dinner was sushi and conversation, wonderful conversation. Catch up on the promotion he is working on, my crazy life in the mortgage business, friends, family, politics, dating; old and new... new there is none for either of us, wish it was us...
He is my best friend and I fall for him every time I see him... wish I would have jumped on it either time he felt it for me in the past... only i was too stupid to see it. Why do we do that? It could be right in front of our face and we just don't see it until it's too late.
Well it's up to the Lord anyway:)
We were friends in high school and went to prom, calling him up anytime to meet me for dancing nights at Dillans and Gilley's with lots of kissing... one night we even slept together, only i drank entirely too much and don't remember it, it must have been horrible... UGH, I am soo mad at myself, I finally slept with him and I can't even remember it:( It needs to happen again on the right terms. Please!!!
Letters, flowers... all in the past.
He use to pick up my daughter every Friday and take her to the pool and just be great with her... only guy I ever trusted her with. I should have know then...
He deserves kids, he is so good with them and has a wonderful relationship with his family, he's perfectly ideal... it's just never been romanticly steady, you know, in a relationship, so it's never been recipicated. Always been on a roller coaster:( I am so ready to take the ride on the farris wheel together:)

Jessica Ann

This one is my baby girl...

Although I did not give birth to Jessica, I have been in her life, involved in raising her since she was 2.

Jessica is almost 16 yrs old and WOW what a beautiful person she is, inside and out.

She has managed to get herself into a little trouble, but she won't do that again and we all did things we weren't suppose to. She happen to get caught.

She will be going to a new school also next yr... high school can be brutal but she has done well... She too has a best friend that reminds me of the way my best friend and I were when we were in Jr High and High School. I am still very close to Mich and hope the same for the Jessica's:)

I wish I had her all the time so that she could have a life where she was appreciated, but I told her that she can put stuff from her mom and stuff from me and be an even better mom. She has an unusual situation with two mom's very prominent in her life.

She gets good grades in school, has a part time job and when school is in she does school activities... hey what ever it takes to keep her out of trouble as long as she continues to get good grades and makes the right decisions.

She was born with a heart problem which led to operations, being fed through a tube in her belly, he stomach sewn shut... Her last heart operation was when she was 5 yrs old and since then she has been in perfect health... alll thanks to the Lord... I tell her all the time she is my angel amoung the earth.

Jayden Rayne

This little one is the love of my life...

She is 9 and a total sass-butt:) She is at the stage of 'know-it-all' and although that drives me nuts what would I do without her.

She still sleeps with me and I dread the day she actually finishes a full night in her own bed. I love that I can kiss her and love on her when she's sleeping and she can't do anything about it:) She is a love bug and gives me lovins whenever I ask... so far:)

Not only do we start a new school this year, its a different type of school, a Charter school. My sister works there so we are going to give it a try:) The have a different approach to teaching and I am over the 12 month school system. I am really excited to try this new school out.

She is into littlest pet shops, barbies, guitar hero and movies... she'll do anything to watch a scary movie and she loves those farce movies that mimic other movies, she'll watch those over and over if i'd let her.

She has a best friend in the neighborhood like I did when I was growing up and she treats him just as bad:( I told her, she shouldn't be mean like I was or she'll regret it. I still miss my old friend Missy:)

We have a house full of pets... 2 cats; Dillon and Diva, 1 bunny; Skipper, a hermit crab; Spunky and about 5 fish. We have had dogs with no luck for a good one, a rat and hamsters...

Jayden Rayne is everything I wished for and nothing I was prepared for. The time my water broke until she was born was less than 2 1/2 hours. Too fast for me to have any drugs or for anyone to even be there for the birth besides the dr's and the nurces...