Change is inevitable.

Good or bad, like it or not, to be or not to be, yadda, yadda, yadda.
To change perspective and course because something came along that was not a surprise, unexpectedly turned out to be better than you thought it could be.
My job is one of those unexpected turns... I took the turn with full certainty that I was making it as a financial move that needed to be made in order to keep my sanity. Well, it so far has turned out to be a road with no major career hurdles, but has the means to be something great. It's a road that will be traveled to see where it takes me at this point. I have put my faith into the Lord and will put it in his hands. I pray that it takes me to a path of success and a career move that will take me down paths that I have not been before. I have a great mentor, and am working on getting to know how he ticks and learn all I can from his experience.
My 'I had it moment' that happened in December has lead me to loosing 20 pounds, going to the gym at least 4 times a wk and feeling great! I fit into cloths that I haven't fit in, in 3-4 years. I can't believe the difference in how I look and feel. Having time for yourself is amazing and something I had forgotten how important it is.
As for my Faith, I am auditioning for my church Choir on August 19th... I want to meet someone with a strong Faith base. I am getting more involved in my church, these are the kind of people I want to surround myself with.
Family is the best support you can have. My cousin Tracey and I are as close, if not closer that we were as kids. I love that I spend at least 2-3 wk-ends a month with my aunt and my cousins:) and of course my dad still comes over once a wk for dinner, my sister and I are living together to help each other out financially and in raising our girls, we have plans every Tuesday to hang out at our mom's and watch whatever show she is into for the season. I am faithful to watch The Bachelor or Bachelorete and So You Think You Can Dance... My mom and my sister add America's Got Talent and American Idol to their choice of shows, but are nice enough to catch up on those when I am not there:) hehehe
Jayden is very busy this year. She has gymnastics every Monday and we are also preparing for a concert on August 19th and 20th. So gymnastics has turned into 3 days a wk until that is over. She has spent the last 2 wks in day camp at her gymnastice center and put on a mini concert with modeling, dance routine and singing routines! She is doing fabulous. Actually we will be adding ballet to her extra activities this fall.
Jessica is working all summer at Dairy Queen, saving for cosmo school, college and a place of her own as soon as she graduates. No volleyball this year since cosmo is taking up so much of her extra class time.
All in all, the Lord keeps pouring the blessings and although they are changes that I did not expect, I am greatful for every single thing the Lords puts my way. He knows what the method to the maddness is.
God bless all my friend and family. I am so blessed.

if we're not married by 30... 35... lets get married

Ever had a friend that you made a pack to get married to, if you were not married by a certain age?? Well I have passed two of those dead lines and had dinner with him tonite. The only difference is, he doesn't feel the same.
Dinner was sushi and conversation, wonderful conversation. Catch up on the promotion he is working on, my crazy life in the mortgage business, friends, family, politics, dating; old and new... new there is none for either of us, wish it was us...
He is my best friend and I fall for him every time I see him... wish I would have jumped on it either time he felt it for me in the past... only i was too stupid to see it. Why do we do that? It could be right in front of our face and we just don't see it until it's too late.
Well it's up to the Lord anyway:)
We were friends in high school and went to prom, calling him up anytime to meet me for dancing nights at Dillans and Gilley's with lots of kissing... one night we even slept together, only i drank entirely too much and don't remember it, it must have been horrible... UGH, I am soo mad at myself, I finally slept with him and I can't even remember it:( It needs to happen again on the right terms. Please!!!
Letters, flowers... all in the past.
He use to pick up my daughter every Friday and take her to the pool and just be great with her... only guy I ever trusted her with. I should have know then...
He deserves kids, he is so good with them and has a wonderful relationship with his family, he's perfectly ideal... it's just never been romanticly steady, you know, in a relationship, so it's never been recipicated. Always been on a roller coaster:( I am so ready to take the ride on the farris wheel together:)

Jessica Ann

This one is my baby girl...

Although I did not give birth to Jessica, I have been in her life, involved in raising her since she was 2.

Jessica is almost 16 yrs old and WOW what a beautiful person she is, inside and out.

She has managed to get herself into a little trouble, but she won't do that again and we all did things we weren't suppose to. She happen to get caught.

She will be going to a new school also next yr... high school can be brutal but she has done well... She too has a best friend that reminds me of the way my best friend and I were when we were in Jr High and High School. I am still very close to Mich and hope the same for the Jessica's:)

I wish I had her all the time so that she could have a life where she was appreciated, but I told her that she can put stuff from her mom and stuff from me and be an even better mom. She has an unusual situation with two mom's very prominent in her life.

She gets good grades in school, has a part time job and when school is in she does school activities... hey what ever it takes to keep her out of trouble as long as she continues to get good grades and makes the right decisions.

She was born with a heart problem which led to operations, being fed through a tube in her belly, he stomach sewn shut... Her last heart operation was when she was 5 yrs old and since then she has been in perfect health... alll thanks to the Lord... I tell her all the time she is my angel amoung the earth.

Jayden Rayne

This little one is the love of my life...

She is 9 and a total sass-butt:) She is at the stage of 'know-it-all' and although that drives me nuts what would I do without her.

She still sleeps with me and I dread the day she actually finishes a full night in her own bed. I love that I can kiss her and love on her when she's sleeping and she can't do anything about it:) She is a love bug and gives me lovins whenever I ask... so far:)

Not only do we start a new school this year, its a different type of school, a Charter school. My sister works there so we are going to give it a try:) The have a different approach to teaching and I am over the 12 month school system. I am really excited to try this new school out.

She is into littlest pet shops, barbies, guitar hero and movies... she'll do anything to watch a scary movie and she loves those farce movies that mimic other movies, she'll watch those over and over if i'd let her.

She has a best friend in the neighborhood like I did when I was growing up and she treats him just as bad:( I told her, she shouldn't be mean like I was or she'll regret it. I still miss my old friend Missy:)

We have a house full of pets... 2 cats; Dillon and Diva, 1 bunny; Skipper, a hermit crab; Spunky and about 5 fish. We have had dogs with no luck for a good one, a rat and hamsters...

Jayden Rayne is everything I wished for and nothing I was prepared for. The time my water broke until she was born was less than 2 1/2 hours. Too fast for me to have any drugs or for anyone to even be there for the birth besides the dr's and the nurces...